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I am not going to go into lengthy detail about how my job is going. It has its nights of merit, but it just seems like there is a lot of drama going on. Overall, it’s still a decent job. I like the tasks I have to do, and I have the chance to move around a lot rather than sit in a chair for eight hours. I don’t mind the commute most days. I like listening to one of the radio shows that’s on while I drive to work between 9:00 to 11:00 at night. It’s just lonely sometimes, and every once in a while I wish I could have Fridays and Saturdays off or Saturdays and Sundays off so I could have the chance to visit with my friends or family.

I get to see Alex once a week. Sundays are usually our days. But it still isn’t ideal because he works Monday morning. I can’t wait until we are able to move. I’m crossing my fingers for March.

While I went down to visit him the last two weekends, Alex came to visit today. We were both a little tired, but we talked, watched part of a terrible movie (The Happening – what the hell is up with that movie?), decorated some Halloween cookies, and ate chili. We also cuddled under blankets because even though my house’s furnace was replaced in the past month or so, we haven’t turned the heat on yet. After stepping outside after my shift this morning and finding my car covered in frost (I happened to be wearing only my uniform and a jean jacket), I feel we should reconsider.

I was sad to see Alex go tonight, but I was glad I at least had the chance to see him for a few hours. We have had several obstacles to overcome together so far, and even though our schedules are our main one for the time being, I feel that we will one day eventually get around it and be happier.

After he left, I went back to carving a pumpkin. Mom and I went to a local farm a few weeks ago and picked out a humongous gourd. Mom tore it right off the vine and tried to carry it out of the pumpkin patch, but it wore her out and I had to run and fetch a wagon to take it to the cashier.

Anyway, it sat there for a bit, and eventually I got the inspiration for my carving. I used to never be a fan of horror films, though during the month of October, it is somewhat difficult to avoid. Freddy Krueger is, in my opinion, one of the most frightening of slasher-film villains and he has even haunted my nightmares (though of course, I’ve woken up from those…). I prefer my zombies to shamble though I don’t mind if they run, and my vampires most definitely don’t sparkle. Mom and I have been watching a lot of recent thriller and horror movies lately, and that’s been fun. I think my favorite was the original Let the Right One In. The ending was so abrupt and disturbing, yet in a way, endearing in reference to Oscar and Eli’s relationship.

Oh wait, anyway, I got off track. I swear I have a point to this rambling. So in my junior year of high school, I got my wisdom teeth removed around Halloween. I didn’t put together a costume, or at least I don’t remember having one. I went to a Halloween party the day after I had the surgery, and my friends said I just sat around, staring off into space and occasionally giggling. Also, I kept saying, “You’ve got red on you,” to a guy dressed up like Shaun from Shaun of the Dead. I seriously only remember saying it once.

While I was recovering from having my wisdom teeth out, I sat around on the couch a lot. It was before I took up knitting, so I didn’t do any of that, but we rented some movies. I had heard about Evil Dead and was curious, and that was on top of the video stack as well as Evil Dead II and the adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’s The Rules of Attraction. I may or may not have watched American Psycho around that time, too. Anyway, I just remember watching the Evil Dead movies and I was so confused with the second one because I was doped up and couldn’t tell the difference between Evil Dead and Evil Dead II except the second one was funnier. But I liked it. I thought it was weird and Bruce Campbell was cool.  Eventually I got my hands on Army of Darkness, and I loved it. It was hilarious. I did an econ project my senior year of high school where I examined the film industry and what considerations have to go into making a movie, specifically a low-budget horror movie. I have watched Army of Darkness many times, and on my graduation from college, I wore a “Hail to the King, Baby” button on my gown.

So, anyway, my inspiration was my love for Army of Darkness, and after spending at least six hours over the course of four nights scraping images of Ash and Evil Ash out of this pumpkin, here are the results. I am so glad I was able to finish it in time for Halloween.

By the way, I actually didn’t realize I would have Halloween night off until last Sunday. With my old schedule, I would have been working. I wish I had noticed sooner, though. I’m not going to go through with making a costume this year. Reduce, reuse, recycle, they say. It should be fun, though. I’m going to go up north and hang out with some friends for Rocky Horror. I haven’t really seen anyone besides Alex for about a month. Oh, mature adult world, why do you have to suck sometimes?


Despite the fact that it was not in my original intentions, I had a lovely weekend at home. After I ranted about being the dumbest person ever, I pushed my driver’s seat back, put a foot up on my dashboard, and grabbed the box of freshman journals I had to grade. I enjoyed reading the students’ entries, and wished that I had more than four days left with them.

My mom pulled up when I had two journals left to grade. We hauled my stuff into the house and started doing laundry. Lots of laundry. I don’t even know how much laundry, it was that immense. We ate dinner, and then Mom sent me on a quick grocery-shopping trip. She’s been waiting to do that for years, and since I now have a license and a car, I can.

She did some homework, and I finished grading journals, and she helped me clean my fish tank because Bones really needed a clean home again. Then Mom did more homework, and I made homemade salsa. My hands smelled like cilantro for the rest of the night, but man, was that salsa tasty. We ate some of that with chips while we watched Kick-Ass.

I slept in on Saturday, and then we went to Bob Evans for brunch – Mom had a coupon. It was good, and Mom and I talked a lot. I miss her.

When we got back, I made sugar cookie dough and did homework. Then I made cookies and iced them. I think you’ll agree that they’re pretty awesome, especially the skulls. I had to cut out the eyes for them and the ghosts myself.

Mom and I ate more chips and salsa while watching The Fantastic Mr. Fox and Good Hair – the latter of which was rather enlightening!

I stayed up until 2:00 updating my music and burning CDs for my car. I got up around 8:45 this morning and Mom had made cinnamon rolls. They were so good. She sent me back to Muncie with some of those, some salsa, some bean casserole thing we had for dinner on Friday, and an unopened box of hot chocolate mix. She spoils me.

I got back to my apartment (where my house keys were sitting on my nightstand, mocking me), and unpacked. I had just enough time to get everything in place, and then I had to bike to work. I already got my lesson plan done, and I have about two and a half hours left of my shift. I suppose I should have brought a book. Oh well. After I get off, my grandparents are coming to visit me and take me out to dinner. They also spoil me, but it will be good to see them. Grandpa is having surgery this week. I hope everything goes well.

I had one thing I wanted to write about since it is Halloween. I love this holiday, but look at me – I’m lame and at work, not dressing up, no parties, nothing, really. And I think I’m really sad that there’s no Rocky Horror Picture Show for me tonight. I haven’t been the past few years, and I should have gone. My friends get to wreak havoc, and I don’t. But it means a lot more to me, or at least, it has in the past.

I thought of Rocky Horror today because I was listening to the soundtrack in my car during my drive. I sang along, sometimes shouting out lines from the audience participation. It made me nostalgic for the (slightly) wild girl I used to be.

I first learned of Rocky Horror through my mother. She used to go to the midnight showings with her friends. The Halloween when I was in seventh grade, VH1 showed it edited, and we watched it together. A while later, she bought the DVD and we watched it again. Sometimes late at night, I’d watch it by myself. I memorized it.

I met my friend Leigh in eighth grade. We shared a love of Rocky Horror. She had actually been to midnight showings at Hollywood Bar and Filmworks. The summer after eighth grade, I went with her, her family, and my friend Joe to see it at Hollywood Bar and Filmworks. The theater was packed and smoky. Joe and I were “virgins,” even though I had seen the movie multiple times – just not in the theater. Leigh drew a big lipstick “V” on my forehead. Their “de-virginizing” ceremony for that night was an auction. I was auctioned off to a woman with pierced nipples. She showed them to the audience to buy me, but then she let me go back and sit with Leigh and her family.

The show was a blast! I got home at 3:00 in the morning, my voice hoarse from screaming, clothes smelling like smoke and my mascara giving me raccoon eyes. And I had to do it again.

I don’t know how many more times I went after that, but I was sure to dress up. I wore fishnets, cat ears, feather boas, lots of stuff. Leigh and I had our pictures taken and put in the Indianapolis Star. I had a forty-year-old man dressed as Frank-n-Furter sit on my lap for “I’m Going Home.” I dreamed of playing Magenta in the shadow cast one day, I loved it that much.

But then I had a falling out with Leigh sophomore year, and Hollywood Bar and Filmworks shut its doors for good. Rocky Horror no more.

Leigh and I eventually made up. We’re still friends. I graduated, came to Ball State, and found out that, around Halloween, UPB did a showing of Rocky Horror. I joined the shadow cast and was supposed to play the Criminologist, but found that the director was a twat who didn’t know what she was doing, and she didn’t respect the cast. She wanted to make it more shock-worthy and less fun, if that makes sense. I think it does – Glee recently proved the same point that Rocky Horror might be shocking, but what is more important is having fun with it. So I quit the shadow cast, but I still went to the showing. It was pretty lame, since it was a university-sponsored. The shadow cast had been an embarrassment, so I am glad I had left it. I had way more fun being with my friends. Well, except for when I stepped on my camera with my high heel. That wasn’t so good. But Rocky Horror – it was always good.

So I’m sad I can’t be at a showing tonight, but in my heart, I’m there, screaming obscenities, dancing the Time Warp, and being an Unconventional Conventionalist.

Don’t dream it, be it…