“You’re not alone. You only feel alone.” — Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

I have this terrible, sinking sadness in me, when I know I should be happy for what I have and what I have accomplished in my life so far. Yet, it just doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t feel good enough. I feel like a loser when I tell people the truth about how I tried to be a teacher and it just didn’t work out. I have a feeling my graduation is going to be awkward for those guests who don’t know yet…

I don’t know where I belong. I wish I did. I wish I knew where I wanted to go with my life, and what to do about it. I’m questioning everything – and even though I have friends, family, and a loving boyfriend, I just feel alone, apart from it all. I want to get in my car and drive. Last night I wanted to drive to Alex’s house in the dead of night, but I had the good sense not to do it. I just want to drive away, go as far as I can, find myself in another city, another country, create a new life for myself.

But then I’d be lonelier, wouldn’t I?

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