You know what is sad?

When you wake up late Sunday morning, and when your boyfriend wants to sleep a bit longer, you put on your glasses, pick up a textbook, and start reading until he’s decided he wants to wake up.

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be so immersed in school anymore. I saw a few of my friends this weekend, and I hadn’t seen them in two weeks. Which was the last time the boyfriend came to town. I saw a few friends on Friday night, I hadn’t seen in probably longer.

My life is mostly not my life anymore. I can’t just throw on jeans and a t-shirt and be out the door in the mornings. I actually have to wear blouses and slacks and shoes that aren’t comfortable and leave blisters on my toes. If I’m really unlucky, I might just have to style my hair in the morning instead of letting it air dry and be frizzy. I just… you know, I want my life back.

I don’t want to start crying every Sunday when my boy has to leave. I don’t want to cry when I realize how much work I have to do and how much longer I have until I have a break. My fall break is Friday. That day, I don’t have any classes. It should be a blessing. Instead, I am going to be at the high school where I will be student teaching from 7:45 to 3:05. So even on my “day off,” I am in class longer than I am on a normal Friday, and I have to work the next day.

I don’t get an actual break until Thanksgiving, and even then, I will probably be typing up a unit plan on my computer while my family watches football and my relatives get all the glory in the kitchen. I want to cook! I want to make a delicious meal!

All of this being said, these past two days have been really nice, because I got to see my boyfriend. On Friday night, we made curried pumpkin soup (DELICIOUS!), hung out with some of our friends in the Village, and ate ice cream while watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Saturday, we watched 2001: A Space Odyssey and agonized on how long the movie feels compared to its run time. We made kielbasa and potatoes for dinner, and then played Arkham Horror with our friend, Matt. We got our butts handed to us by Shuddle M’ell, but it was still a lot of fun.

I’ll admit, most times when the boy comes to visit, we don’t know what to do. We spend a lot of time sitting around, watching stuff, cuddling, and talking. Sometimes he plays his DS while I knit, or something like that. But even something so simple as doing dishes together makes me happy. I miss him a lot. The twelve days between our visits always seems like an eternity. We make the best out of things, though, and I’m glad to have him. He keeps me sane, keeps me from being a complete mess – or a monster.

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