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I finished my first unit plan of the semester! Arguably, it’s probably not the worse one, but hey, it’s done! Oh my god! I’m so excited! I’ve been dancing to Devo and Depeche Mode, drinking spiked orange juice, and knitting. I’ve actually knitted while dancing. It’s possible, yes, but then I realized I liked my arms flailing about, so I set my knitting down. I’m glad we’re on the first floor. Our neighbors would be pissed if we lived on any other floor. People better run for cover when graduation comes. I’m going to melt their faces off with my giddiness when that happens…

I feel like I could run around the block a thousand times, but I’m not appropriately dressed. I don’t even really have to go to class tomorrow, if you don’t think about it, it’s only one and we’re watching a movie, but on principle, I’ll go. Plus, if I’m lucky, I’ll get to see my buddy Sarah. I miss her and we’ve both been sick this week.

Also, did I mention my boy is coming tomorrow and I’m stoked about that?

So here’s to being done! And to the weekend! Now I’m going to go crazy with bliss over the next few days, since Sunday evening I’m going back to the grindstone!

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Still trucking along… lots of work going on. I have completed most of my unit plan, and I hope to finish it all by tomorrow night. The due date was pushed back to Sunday, but I don’t want to work on it this weekend. Alex is going to be here, and since the last time we saw each other we didn’t get much time together, I’m going to make sure we get some quality time.

In addition to this unit plan, I had to read nine chapters of David Copperfield for tomorrow. Bleh. We’ve got more to read for next Tuesday. It wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that I don’t have time to read.

Dear Charles Dickens,

Your books aren’t that bad, they’re just too long for my time constraints. My Victorian British lit class is not my life. My work and practicum are. So, you’re going to have to be put on the back burner. I hope you understand. If not, you suck and will have to deal with it.

Thanks,

Sam

Also, our cable is acting weird.

So yeah, Comcast?

Please get your shit together. First it was our sucky Internet. Now it’s no Syfy, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, USA and Animal Planet. And we need that to be happy, sort of. Or at least, it makes my roommates happy. But I don’t mind it either.

Thanks,

Sam

But overall, I’d say things are looking up. Life is good. My practicum is canceled for the next two days so I can sleep in a little be productive. Tomorrow, I think I might go grocery shopping. I won’t actually have to be on campus until 12:30. Yes!

Also, we’re watching the Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet in my other non-David Copperfield Brit Lit class. I’ve never seen it, but it’s effin’ ridiculous so far. I just cracked up during the first five minutes. I love Moulin Rouge and John Leguizamo is awesome, but wow.  I can’t decide – it’s like, so bad it’s good, or so imaginative I’m blown away. I really like the use of Shakespearean dialogue in a modern setting. It’s really amusing.

Another great thing – I can knit while watching the movie! I’ve started another project on top of the four I’m already doing. It’s another scarf, go figure! But it’s with some of the nice alpaca yarn Alex’s mom gave me. It’s so gorgeous. I’m happy about it.

Two last things to be happy about? I finally caught up on Mad Men and Glee, and I only have Thursday standing in the way between me and my Alex. He’s bringing me a pie.

Dear Boyfriend,

I love you. I miss you. Friday can’t come soon enough.

Love,

Sam.

I had something really cool to write about here, but it might have to wait for another day. Due to my procrastination lack of syllabus-reading, I realized that my unit plan for practicum is due Friday. This Friday, as in five days from now. I’ve been busy going to shows, watching Glee on my computer, knitting, crocheting, browsing the internet, doing a lot of other stuff, that I forgot.

So, I started today needing to write eleven days’ worth of lesson plans. I already had two done as class assignments, and I did my assessment assignment on Thursday. I’ve been busting my butt, but I’m not done yet. I did three today, and that was with my distractions: sleeping until 11 am, grocery shopping, laundry, making chili mac and a walk to the gas station for chocolate-covered donuts.

Needless to say, I’m pretty proud of how well I’m cranking out these lessons that fit into my unit, which is all about poetry. The biggest challenge is finding good poetry for high school juniors to read. I intend to (hopefully) have this done by Thursday night, so I can be happy and look forward to seeing my boy this weekend!

I’ve been better than how I was in my last post. It was just a long day, and the days and weeks have just been dragging along and blending together. I’ve started to really only care about how long I have before I get off work, how many days I have until I have a day off, and the days when I can sleep in. I’ve still been keeping up with my classes and doing my best, but it is still rather difficult.

In my free time for the past week, I watched the entire series of Daria and worked on my newest knitting project, and when I feel like socializing, I come out of my room and watch the Venture Bros. with my roommates. But I spend a lot of time in my room.

But… Great news! If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that I’ve had a rather unorthodox situation as a twenty-one-year-old. This summer, I finally got my driver’s license. Over the past few months, I’ve been lamenting my lack of vehicle and actively searching for one. Being car-less sucks because if you’re like me and have to bike or walk places, there are certain dangers. I don’t like biking at night, and I often have to do so. Last Saturday it rained when I got off work, and I was soaked by the time I arrived home. I was desperate for a car, but I couldn’t show that to the dealers, of course.

Well, this weekend, Alex came to visit. He just left about an hour ago for home, and I wished I could have had more time with him, since most of this weekend wasn’t really full of fun, to say. It was productive, though. He came up on Friday, and then we went to Indy for the Irish Festival. We got in for free, watched a sheep herding demonstration, some bands, some dancing, and I bought a ring (like I do every year I go). The food sounded good, but seeing as we were trying to save money, we had to forgo what the booths had to offer. We left after a while and ate somewhere else for dinner.

We stayed at my house for the night, played Alex’s new board game, Torres, and researched cars. Saturday morning, he, my mom, and I went car browsing. The first dealership was overwhelming, and I wasn’t a fan of the car we looked at. We had an appointment at another dealership, but there were so many in the area, we got lost. We ended up at a different dealership that was actually on my list, and we looked at the car I had seen online.

We turned the car on, looked it all over, and Alex and I each took a turn behind the wheel. Some negotiation took place, and, well, long story short, I drove my first car off the lot! It’s a 2001 Nissan Maxima in fantastic condition, and I’m almost certain that someone else would have taken it off the lot that day if I hadn’t. I’m also incredibly grateful that I have Alex. Without him, not only would I probably not have a driver’s license, but I wouldn’t have such a good car (or a car at all, probably). I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to show him how thankful I am, but I will try.

Currently, the car is in my mom’s driveway. We’re hoping to get it up to my apartment next weekend, but I need to take the registration to the BMV and apply for one of the parking permits in my apartment complex, among a few other things. I have my fingers crossed that I’ll have it up here next weekend. I’m so excited that I’ll be able to have authority and independence at long last.

Not much else has gone on this weekend, though. Alex and I returned to my apartment Saturday afternoon, and I made baked ziti for dinner. We hung out with our friends for a little bit, and we watched some Top Gear. I’m really sad that it is Sunday already, but I’m eager for the next twelve days to go by so I’ll be able to see Alex again. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to keep me busy, anyway, with my lesson/unit plans, reading assignments, exams, papers, and work…

Goals Completed:

#2: Buy a car.

Yesterday was the longest day I’ve had this semester.

I woke up at 6:00 so I could be at the bus stop, to catch the bus that would take me downtown, where I could walk a few blocks from the bus station to the high school where I will be student teaching. It was my first time meeting my supervising teacher, and I was nervous. It was cold. I was dumb and had checked the weather in a hurry, making sure it wouldn’t rain while I was out. It didn’t rain, but I didn’t make the observation that it was about 50 degrees outside. All of this would have been better if I had a damn car.

Since I still had some time when I got downtown and near the school, I went to the bakery across the street. I had gotten a coupon for one free pastry when I donated blood a few weeks ago, so a free danish was my breakfast, washed down with milk. “Alejandro” came on while I was eating and looking out the window at the school. I thought it was funny, for some reason.

The school is nice. My supervising teacher is great, with lots of experience. I met the head of the department. He called me “Miss Enthusiasm.” I know it was a joke, but still I got this impression that because I was so eager (and equally jittery) to dive into my student teaching assignment, I had inadvertently set up this expectation of me and my personality, and I don’t know if I like it or not. Should I be happy that they think I’m enthusiastic, a go-getter? I mean… that’s good, but what happens if I come in to teach in January and I have been beaten down, tired, sad, and unenthusiastic? I want to be a good teacher, and I want the other teachers to respect me and think of me as this mature, ready, innovative person. It’s scary. And don’t even get me started on my speech… I was correcting myself all during my visit because I don’t want my supervisors/colleagues/students to think of me as some dumb hick girl.

Before class started, I got a visit from one of the current student teachers. We’ve known each other since my freshman year of college, and we had a class together. He asked me how I was feeling about it (honestly, very good, despite my trepidations) and he beamed about his class and how much he likes it there. It felt comforting. Like, “Yeah, you’ll be okay. This is a good school, and you have support.” I really appreciated his visit. I could have hugged him.

I sat in on two classes. The first was full of sophomores, the second, seniors. It was great. I don’t know if I’ll have some of the same kids when I’m teaching next semester, but I hope a few of them do. I fell in love with them. I want to be a good teacher for them.

After my visit, I took the bus home to change out of my dress clothes and have some lunch. Then I packed all my stuff up again and rode off to class. It was only 12:30, but my lack of a good night’s sleep hit me hard. After that class, all I could think about was going home. I wanted to go home. Home, home, home. But then I started thinking about the things that were bothering me, and I realized – I didn’t want to return to the apartment. I want out of the city. I want to go back home, with my mom, for a good night’s sleep and actual healthy food that isn’t the dredges of my pantry, leftovers, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I want to be away from my roommates; despite my general fondness for them, I have become annoyed at all three of them as of late.

I think my bitterness is coming to the surface again, since I am the only one who has to be out of the house early every day, and I don’t come home until much later than they do, and I work and I do all these things… and then they complain about getting up at 7:00 or 8:00, or complain about going to class at (god forbid!) 2:00 pm, and ask me to return or pick up items at the library that they could do themselves, and they ask me if they can have some of the food that I bought with my money, and then one of the stupid cats decides she wants to claw at my furniture while the owner just laughs and thinks she’s cute.

Yeah, totally bitter. I tried to make that sound better, but I’m just tired and bitter. What am I supposed to do? Yell at my roommates? I mean, they have their lives, and just because they don’t have my same lifestyle, I should try to change them? No! It would be nice for them to have more maturity and responsibility,  but I couldn’t ask them to be like me. Even I think my life is boring. I have a small social life, and even smaller patience, it seems. I still think it would be nice if for one day, they could walk in my shoes and think about how I feel before asking me to add another item to my back-crushing backpack for their benefit, or when they complain about going to class when I am gone all day.

Anyway – long story short, I didn’t come home until after 9:00 pm. I biked home in the cold and darkened streets. You know how scary that is? I hate it. I’m afraid I’ll be hit by a car. I hate to even think about how it might be if I have to walk from campus to my apartment. This is, yet again, further proof why I need a car. Soon.

Yesterday was a  fifteen-hour marathon of bus rides, formalities, awkwardness, classes, tedium, the library, and longing. I came home and didn’t say a word to my roommates. I don’t think I was mad at them then. I just didn’t want to see them. I didn’t want to speak to them. I almost wish sometimes I could yell at everyone to get out for a few hours, and just let me be. Instead, I went to my room and called Alex, happy to speak with him, but exhausted. Then I called my mom, who then yelled at me that she does the same thing all the time and that she had to do homework, so she wanted to cut me off. She’s a hardass, I know that and should be strong enough to suck it up when shit like this happens. But I had had such a long day, and I knew that she would be the only one who would understand (recently, I’ve tried to stop complaining to Alex and my friends – I don’t want to be that kind of girlfriend/friend anymore), and when she rejected me, I started crying. She felt bad about what she said, but she was right, in a way.

Three weeks into the school year, and I finally lost it.

On the bright side, at least it wasn’t the first day, as it has been for the last two semesters. But I had tried so hard to be strong and not cry about things, and I just broke down.

Now I just need to learn how to pick myself up again and survive the next few months.

You know what is a sad thought? I only have four days of classes this week, and it still seems to stretch on for eternity.

But do you know what is a happy thought? This past weekend. It was so nice to be with Alex and our friends. I only had one class, which was on Friday at noon, which I almost skipped, but I have an overbearing conscience that made me attend. When he got here, we went to the Artist Within and picked up our pieces. They look great, and apparently I got a lot of buzz about my awesome coffee mug. I’ll post pictures when I can – same with the pie. We had that after dinner on Friday, and it was so good! I will definitely make it, and many other pies, again.

I gave Alex his birthday present – tickets to the Electric Six concert in November. He knew about them, but I was so excited to actually say, “Look! We’re going, and it’s going to be great!”

We rounded up our friends on Friday night and hit the bars. It was a lot of fun. I really do miss seeing people. My social life is quite limited (so to speak) these days.

We slept in on Saturday afternoon and then picked Ninja up from the veterinarian. She’s now officially spayed, and we took care of her and Flareon this weekend for Jessi and Ruu.

The rest of Saturday was spent in boredom. We just relaxed and hung out, watching Shaun of the Dead in the evening. Alex had never seen it before, but he likes Hot Fuzz, too.

Sunday we went – drumroll please – car browsing! I need a car. I really need a car. I probably need to find a car by October 14th, or at least I’m hoping to find one that works. I like the Honda Civic, so I am leaning in that direction, but any good, similar, cheap car will do.

Later, we hung out with Scott, Sarah, Matt, and Geldes. We watched Taken and then the new episode of Mad Men. Sarah and I knit. When Alex and I got home, we weren’t ready to sleep, so we ate ice cream while watching Top Gear. The cats sat on either side of us. It was rather sweet.

I had to work at noon on Monday, and I was rather morose about it. Usually I work at one, but I had been talked into coming in an hour early. I would have rather not worked at all. Going to work after saying goodbye is a sad thing.

Classes and work are going all right this week, I guess. I wonder sometimes if I shouldn’t have moved off campus. I would be closer to where I spend all my time, and I would be able to go back to my room any time I want… but apartment living is cheaper, so after all, it was a good decision. I think.

Surprisingly, Alex came up today. I have now inherited the rocking loveseat that sat in his garage. It has flame-stitch-patterned fabric, but I think I might try to make a slipcover and make it less flamboyant. I know it was only two days ago, but seeing him today was nice, even if he couldn’t stay long. I just miss him, you know?

Among the rest of the things going on this week, I picked up a  three-hour shift for this Friday, so I don’t get a day off until Sunday, and after that, it’s next Friday. I have to wake up super early tomorrow to catch the bus because I’m going to the high school tomorrow and meeting my supervising teacher. Also, my copy of the Canterbury Tales got lost in the mail somehow and I’ve needed it for the past three days of class, and my laptop charger finally died. I only have 23% battery life right now, and that just rocks (sarcasm).

This is my first 7:45 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. Thursday. I think it will be okay, but I still wish that I could have a little time at home during the day in which to relax, and not just two hours before I have to go to bed. It also doesn’t help that I’m never really alone. I mean, I’m in class, there’s people. At the library, there’s people. At the apartment, there’s people, and cats.

Oh, those cats. Flareon will meow at me in the morning as I’m making breakfast in the kitchen. Ninja meows all the time. We have the terrifying suspicion that she might be going into heat, and Flareon isn’t neutered yet, so Jessi has been keeping Ninja in her room. But it doesn’t change the fact that she meows all night and the walls are thin, so we can all hear her anyway. I woke up this morning at 3:30 and she was still going. I like animals, so I normally don’t want to kill them, but because of these past few days, I’ve really wanted to murder Ninja. But I won’t, because I actually do like cats and I couldn’t be cruel to any animal, and also because I don’t want people thinking I’m insane and I don’t want to go to jail or anything like that. Also, if you’ve read “The Cats of Ulthar,” you really, really don’t want to kill a cat.

Overall, though, things are going well. This has been my most productive week yet. I have been: going to class, working, reading, talking with my supervising teacher and setting up a visit to the school, signing up for CPR training, researching the Praxis II, picking up forms for scholarships, getting my criminal background checks, working out, busting out my calligraphy set, knitting a penguin, and – perhaps my favorite – baking a pie.

I got home at 6:00 last night after working out. I did my homework, ate dinner, took a quick shower, and around 7:30 (I think) I started baking Alex’s birthday peach-blueberry pie. It was really simple to put together, but I was still nervous. I’ve only baked one other pie before, and that was last Thanksgiving. That had gone well, but I also had other women to look to for advice. This time, I was totally on my own.

And let me tell you, it went beautifully. I think after I took it out of the oven and let it cool a bit, I was running around the apartment with it, saying, “LOOK AT THIS! OH! IT’S SO PRETTY!” I took pictures. I’ll post them soon, or whenever I can. I can’t wait to try a slice, but I must. Alex is coming up tomorrow and staying all weekend. I also only have one class tomorrow, and I can sleep in. This weekend is going to be so awesome… I just have to get through today first!