The past semester has been a rough one. I had to adapt to a lot of changes I wasn’t used to, and I had to deal with old stresses. I’ll admit that I probably cried a lot more this semester than the past four. In fact, the first week of classes, I probably cried every day. I was miserable, but I’ve made it through.

I was on Opening Committee, like I wrote about before, and it was fun to work with my friends. It was a little frustrating because some people didn’t work as hard as others, and the elevator was broke for our move-in, it was fixed, and then it broke again after we moved all the incoming freshmen (and then it wasn’t repaired until Thanksgiving or so). We went to the awards ceremony, and even though we didn’t win “Best Decorated,” we won “Most Knowledgeable,” which I guess is fine because brains trumps beauty any day.

Anyway, it was hard not living in the Honors dorms, mainly because the new residents are dumb, lazy, greedy, and loud. I often have to wake up around 5:45 to go to work, and my neighbors would be screaming at each other at 1:00 in the morning. There is so much disrespect on my floor, and I’m really just tired of it and I can’t wait to move out.

In addition to that, there’s a girl who lives on my floor, has a lot of classes with me, and was my confidant at some time basically gave me flashbacks to middle school/high school. Guh. I’m working on putting that behind me, even though we’ll have two classes together next semester and we have a lot of mutual friends. But even more so, I can’t wait to move out of Botsford/Swinford. Ruu, Faryn, and I want to move to an apartment together, and I think Jessi’s in on it too. We just need to finalize everything, pick either Silvertree or University, and sign a lease.

I celebrated one year at Ed Resources. I still love it, though there were some rough days, and not everyone works to their full potential. I’ve been working very hard, and I think my supervisors have taken notice. Julie says she’s going to allow me to have every other Saturday off next semester – I’m really excited! I’ll actually have free weekends for the first time since I started my job!

My classes were a mixed bag. All of them were challenging in their own right, except for creative writing, I think. It was fun because Ruu and Zach were there, and we made some new friends, too. People really liked my writing, and it sparked my then-dead writer’s block. I think it’s back momentarily, but I’m going to try to write more, and possibly get published.

I hated my Early American Literature class. The first day, the professor said we had to have six novels for the class, but hadn’t submitted the book list to the store. Thus, I thought I had bought all of my books for the semester, and at that moment, I wanted to throw myself in front of a bus. Being an English major sucks because you have to buy a dozen or so books and then you can’t sell them back for anything. Then, this same class went online for the last two months of class because the professor was on maternity leave. I know that having a baby is difficult, but she made it very inconvenient for all her students to not update grades when they were supposed to be.

My debate class was difficult at first, but then it became a lot of fun. I don’t know what it was that changed the climate in that room, but we all became very relaxed around each other. My final was a presentation of a logo I designed for BSU’s Knit/Crochet Community. It’s not everyday you can combine something you love into something for a grade.

My language and society class was boring, but not complicated. I’m just frustrated now because the professor hasn’t updated something pertaining to the class, and it is keeping me from registering for one of my classes next semester, which then might keep me at this college for another semester or two. Rawr.

The group-decision-making class was rather pointless, but I liked how we were in small groups throughout the class and had to work together. However, I felt like I had taken a dozen classes on group work before, and even though I did learn some things, I still prefer to work on a task on my own.

Then there was the class where we focused on teaching reading in the classroom. I learned a lot from this class, and it’s probably one of the most helpful courses I’ve taken at this school. However, I still only got a B for my work. Oh well, all the rest of my classes gave me As, and I’m still kicking ass and taking names when it comes to school.

One of my big adjustments was the fact that Alex moved to Dehority, where a lot of my other good friends, like Sarah, Thom, Geldes, Nick, and Scott moved. For the past couple of years, we’ve been in close proximity; my freshman year, I was in the dorm next door, and my sophomore year, we were in the same building. Often, I’d come back from class and he’d be in the lounge and greet me with a hug and a kiss, or vice versa. I really struggled with it the first month or so, but we’ve made it work. We’ll often meet for dinner, and we spend a lot of time alone or with other friends, but we at least try to talk/see each other every day, even if it’s for a short amount of time. I understand that he needs his space, but I think that he understands that he keeps me from going completely insane with all the stress of work and school. I also think this is sort of a warm-up for the next obstacle we have to face; he’ll be graduating in May (I think), and so he won’t even be in the same city next year. I love him so much, and I’ll do anything to keep him.

So that’s how “Hell Semester” went. Not exactly my best experience at Ball State, but I’ve been learning about myself. I’m glad I don’t have a roommate this year, because I think I’ve needed the space to myself. I just need to wind down at the end of the day, stop freaking out so much, have a better outlook on things, try not to be so clingy with Alex, and socialize more with my friends. Most of all, I decided that I was going to cut down on my classes next semester. I’ve been doing eighteen credit hours (with a job) for the last three semesters. I wanted to get out of school in four years, but what’s more important is my well-being. My mom has even encouraged me that it’s okay if I go an extra semester or two, she just wants me to be happy.

And happy I hope to be next semester, next year, and for the rest of my life.

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